M A S K S
by Metamorphic.Soul
Summary: "She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are like deep water. The rest is shadows. The rest is secret." Sam lives a double life, but her loved ones can see that something is very wrong. Who can help Sam out of her largest mess yet? Seddie love!
1. 001

**M A S K S 001**

**"She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are like deep water. The rest is shadows. The rest is secret." **

"The heart dies, a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves . . . until one day there are none. No hopes, nothing remains. She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are like deep water. It is not for geisha to want. It is not for geisha to feel. Geisha is an artist of the floating world. She dances. She sings. She entertains you, whatever you want. The rest is shadows. The rest is secret."

Sam's light blue eyes stared at the scene playing out in front of her, on a simple television screen, no less. Usually during days like these, she would be sleeping, head on her desk, far away from the real world that waited for her, the kind of world that she had to face. And if anyone else knew about that world, nothing would ever be the same. This movie that for some unknown reason Ms. Briggs decided to play for her class, had caught Sam's attention for a reason that she herself couldn't even understand. She had not fallen asleep, not once throughout the entire movie, which was starting it's conclusion. Sam felt Carly look over, probably seeing whether or not she was awake, just to make sure. Carly was like that, always looking out for Sam, no matter what. Sam glanced over to her right to find Freddie, eyelids drooping, head held high due only to his hands keeping him upright, a bead of saliva starting to drip from the corner of his mouth. She smiled to herself and focused her attention back to the movie. The main character, a Japanese girl named Sayuri, and her love interest were standing on a bridge, just talking. This girl had done everything she could to enter into his world, had given up her entire future, just so she could be somewhat closer to him. Sam was usually somewhat repulsed by these girls; girls who would give anything to be with one guy, a guy who probably would leave them for the next cheerleader who waved her pompoms, or something else in their face. Even though her best friend was one of them. But Sam didn't care, as long as she wasn't one as well, and as long as she got to beat the pulp out of the guy if things didn't work out between himself and Carly. She gave a little side glance to her left to find Carly, staring wide-eyed at the screen, hands clasped together, cheeks flushing a bit. And just in that moment, the handsome Japanese man on the TV screen and the beautiful geisha were kissing. Sam had of course expected it, movies never showed the girls who worked for what they wanted, and ended up broken, empty-handed, and deserted. This never happened to the pretty, skinny girls who could work a mini-skirt, or who would even wear a mini-skirt. Sam of course never would, not after what happened with Pete. She couldn't pretend to be someone she wasn't like that again. Lights suddenly woke Sam from her thoughts. She heard a thud as Freddie's head hit his desk in surprise to the bright lights. She chuckled to herself, only loud enough so that she could hear. She tried to stifle her laughter as he fixed himself, wiping his drool from his mouth, rubbing his eyes to make them look at least somewhat open, lightly smacking his cheeks to make it look and feel like he had been awake the entire time. Ms. Briggs took her time getting to the center of the front of the room. A sweet smile seemed to be carved into her face, which seemed somewhat suspicious to Sam.

"Wasn't that lovely? This movie is one of the best movies of all time," Ms. Briggs sighed a sigh that only a lovesick teenage girl could have. Sam didn't even have to look around the room to know that at least half of the people in that room had raised their eyebrows to that statement, either in utter disbelief, or the fact that Ms. Briggs liked something that didn't have to do with her Scottish ancestry or Randy Jackson. Sam had raised hers to the latter of the two.

"You're probably wondering what the point of watching that movie was? Well, you will write an essay on what you gained from it, due in two weeks! And if anyone does not have their essay in that time, they will get a goose egg for a grade!" Ms. Briggs snapped. Sam sat back in her seat a bit further. The sudden change from the sweet lovelorn Ms. Briggs to . . . well the way Ms. Briggs is the rest of the time, surprised Sam. Who could change their emotion that quickly? Apparantly Ms. Briggs could.

With those final words from Ms. Briggs, the bell rung, signaling school was over for the day. The rest of the class scurried out as fast as they could, rushing to leave the classroom to get to their sports, video games, girlfriends, whatever it was that kept them sane. However, Sam took her time gathering her belongings. She, for some reason, wasn't in a rush to get home, or over to Carly's apartment for that matter. Carly and Freddie waited in the doorway for her, questioning looks slowly rising upon their faces. Sam would've been at least one of the first five to leave the classroom, never the last. Today had been different for Sam; that much was obvious, and Sam wasn't the only one who realized this.

"What's with you today?" Carly asked when Sam met them in the doorway.

"What do you mean Carls?" Sam gave her an inquiring look.

"You usually are one of the first ones out of school, not the last. Last week you pushed Gibby into a bookcase to get to my apartment for that leftover ham! What's different today?" The three of them started walking down the somewhat deserted halls to the front door that held the crisp autumn air, color changing leaves, and the tiniest hint of rain.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just tired . . . or something." Sam could only look ahead. She knew perfectly well why she was acting the way she was. And it wasn't technically a lie, but there was no way that Carly could understand why she was tired and why the movie had shone a little light that held some of the darkest places.

"Well when we get to the apartment you can sleep in my bed or something. I'll wake you up for iCarly rehearsal." A mental smack upside the head struck Sam as a sudden strike of realization washed over her.

"I can't go to rehearsal tonight . . . I have to go to Wendy's to work on a project. It's for math." Sam could only stare straight ahead. Even though lying came easy to Sam, it killed her to lie to the people closest to her.

"What kind of project would you have to do for math?" Freddie wondered out loud. Sam shot a mental flaming arrow at him.

"I don't know that's why I'm working with Wendy." Sam hostilely replied in the way she always spoke to Freddie, rude and crude. But as strange as it was, Freddie never seemed to care about Sam's hostility towards him; in fact he, for the most part, accepted it with open arms. It was a part of who they were, as Freddie and Sam, Sam and Freddie.

"All right, all right." Freddie held up his hands in surrender. At this point the three of them were almost to Bushwell Plaza.

Sam forced herself to give a smile as she heard Lewbert's familiar shrieking a few yards away. The walk to the plaza was quiet, which was unusual for the three of them. There was always something to talk about, or at least a sarcastic remark somewhere. But today, a unknown tension hung in the air. The three of them walked through the doors of the plaza, running up the stairs before a loud noise stopped them in their tracks.

"HEYYY! Stop bouncing pickles down the stairs early in the mornnnning!" Lewbert screeched at the three of them.

Carly, Sam, and Freddie gave each other looks before running up the stairs to somewhat avoid Lewbert's hideous shrieking once again.

"I'll tell that man where he can shove pickles," Sam grumbled.

"Sam, I thought we talked about this," Carly smiled at her friend.

"Yea, yea I know, it's not nice to act violently towards people who are violent towards you first," Sam looked down at her feet.

"Oh right, like Sam -" Freddie was cut off by Carly and Sam's disapproving looks.

Carly giggled to herself, "Come on, Sam needs ham."

"Yes, Mama needs her ham!" Sam sprung through the doorway, a new energy building inside her as she immediately ran towards the refridgerator. Grabbing the meat in her small hands, she felt a sense of warmth. This was how it should be. Sam, coming home with Carly and Freddie, raiding Carly's fridge, and doing iCarly, but it wasn't anymore; Sam had a job to do.

"Sam? Something wrong?" she heard Carly say. She could also feel Carly's eyes burning holes into her back, but she didn't turn around. She had been standing at the open fridge for a minute or two, with ham in hand. Staring at the ham, she realized that she couldn't be there. She couldn't do this to them, make them worry like this. Grabbing her bag, Sam left, without looking back.

**A/N ~ Well that was strange of Sam, don't you think? Let me know how my very first fanfic's going by sending me a review or even a message would be fine. M A S K S is the first part of a 4 part series so there's a lot to unfold! I don't have a clue how long this will be though, we're just gonna have to find out. I'm horrible at planning and usually don't follow it anyway, sooo . . . yea. But again at least me send me a review, because I can't make my story better if you don't tell me how it is first! Part 002 will be ready for next Sunday! Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there! I'm done rambling now, bye! ^_^**


	2. 002

**M A S K S 002**

**"The leaves of memory seemed to make a mournful rustling in the dark." ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow**

Sam ran out of the apartment, feeling lightheaded and slightly claustrophobic. Why? Nothing was wrong with Carly's apartment. She wasn't in danger, and certainly not one to freak out over anything small. So why had she just felt the urge to get out of the one place where she truly felt was her home? Nobody could answer that question and she certainly didn't have the slightest clue. She quickly walked down the steps, being as quiet as she could. She felt her heart beating against her chest when she heard multiple footsteps above her. She knew at least Carly and Freddie would follow her. With a sudden leave like that, who wouldn't? But she had to keep moving, had to be kept hidden. As she got to the last floor, she could feel an urge to cry, coming strong. What was wrong with her today? Sam Puckett never cried! Not even when her dad had left her and her mother alone in that shabby trailer. She always stood strong whenever she got in trouble at school, whether it be bullying, cheating, anything. And she held her ground when she burned her hand trying to put out a kitchen fire. She remembered that night clearly.

_"Mom, where's supper?" a 12 year old Sam called out. _

_She received no answer. Wandering the trailer, she found her mom, sleeping on the couch, with a empty bottle in her loose grip. She tiptoed over to her slumbering mother, shaking her slightly. The empty bottle fell from her hand, rolling on the floor. Sam shook her even harder, but there was no sign that her mom would be waking up soon, not soon enough to make Sam dinner. She grabbed a thin blanket from her mom's room, letting it settle over her still body, the only movement being the slight rise and fall of her mom's chest. Looking over at the clock, it said 9:45. Sam walked over towards the refridgerator and found a carton of milk, a couple of eggs, and a head of lettuce. Walking over to the cabinets, she found a can of Spaghetti-Os and decided that she could at least make that. She looked all around the kitchen for a saucepan, and finally found one, on the bottom of the cabinet, hiding behind a couple of cobwebs. She rinsed it out in their dirty sink, a couple of dead spiders falling into the running water. Drying out the pan with a somewhat damp handtowel, Sam took it to the stove and set the oven on high, pouring the sloppy goop that was Spaghetti-Os into it. She walked back towards her mother, grabbing the empty bottle that had rolled onto the floor. It was cold and hard in her hands. As if it could destroy any enemy that she would ever come into contact with. Maybe that's how her mom felt when she held it too. She put the empty bottle on the sidetable next to the couch and knelt down in front of her mom's face. She lightly stroked her mom's hair and wondered why her mom had become this way. Why had her mom just decided to stop trying? They didn't need him. Sam's dad wasn't in the picture anymore. They could be happy, or so at least Sam thought, but apparantly she and her mom had different views on the subject. She pondered this for a minute longer while continuing to stroke her mom's hair. Her fingers accidentally touched her mom's forehead which was warmer than normal. Sam stood up slowly and dragged her feet over to the bathroom to grab a cold, wet cloth. Who could blame her? She was 12 years old, and at 10 o'clock, instead of sleeping and awaiting the rising sun, like the rest of her classmates, she was making her dinner to settle her roaring stomach and watching over her mom, like a mother would for her own child. Sam wrung out the cold cloth and shuffled her feet back over to the couch where her mother laid. Placing the cold cloth on her mom's forehead she was able to clear her head and breathe for a second. But when Sam breathed in, her nostrils twitched at the smell that was filling the room quickly. Sam's eyes darted over to the stove which had a plume of black smoke that pouring out of the pan. Her ability to process anything froze completely. She couldn't move without shaking. Running over to the stove, she grabbed the pan's handle. The black smoke singed at her hands which caused her grip to loosen She let go and out of instinct, reached for it to stop it from crashing onto the ground. The fire licked at her bare left hand, which caused Sam to forget about grabbing it completely. She staggered back a step, clutching her burning hand. The fire spread to the kitchen floor, swallowing the dirty tiles and a wooden chair. Sam ran to the phone in the living room where her mom laid, unmoving, unaware that their home was in the process of becoming nothing but ashes. Sam unknowingly pushed buttons onto the phone, coughing as the smoke continued to fill her lungs. She could hardly see anything from the combination of the smoke and her eyes watering. _

_"Yes. you've called 911, what is your emergency?" a tired and rather bored sounding voice called from the other end. _

_But Sam couldn't speak, all she could do was cough. Her hand still stinging, causing it to shake from the pain. But she managed to cough out, "There's a fire. Please help. Just come quickly, South 129th street."_

_Sam couldn't hear anything else. The phone dropped from her hands as she saw the flames coming closer to her and her unconscious mom. Sam darted over to her mom, wrapping her arms around her mom's chest and pulling her onto the floor. Sam stared at the fire, which was blocking the front door, there was no way she'd be able to get her and her mom out through that door without being hurt. She pulled her down towards the bedrooms and the bathroom, down the hallway, away from the blaze. Sam staggered with her mom inside Sam's bedroom. She somehow managed to pull her mom onto her bed and open the window right next to her bed. Smoke poured out almost immediately into the cold night air. Sam crawled through the window and carefully pulled her mom through. When her mom's feet hit the ground, her eyelids fluttered slightly. Her nose crinkling more and more as her eyes opened wider. Sirens could be heard getting closer and closer. Sam's body collapsed from underneath her and her eyelids drooped. She felt two pairs of hands lift her up off of the ground as her world went black. _

Sam closed her eyes as she erased that memory from her current thoughts. She took a good look at her surroundings and saw that she was far away from Bushwell Plaza, far away from worrying eyes, far away from Carly, Freddie, and Spencer. She released a sigh and walked forward. The sun was slightly hiding beneath some tree tops, making it's way to go back to it's hiding place from the half of the Earth that she belonged to, which meant that it was her time, her time to do what she needed to do.

**A/N~ OK I know this one was shorter than the last chapter and I know that I said that this chapter would be ready for next Sunday, but with the reviews I got, I got way too excited to wait a whole week! And I don't think you guys would be complaining! And this one may be shorter but I think it's important to let you guys see a little bit into Sam's past and what made her the way she is now. Obviously the fire and her mom is very traumatic to her, and might play a role in this story, we shall have to find out now shall we? Again review please! I love getting reviews! Yesterday when I got reviews for part 001 I was jumping all around getting excited and I got this part up a week early so that should tell you something right there! Part 003 could be up really soon, if you guys review! Peace! :)**


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